March 2nd, 2008

my so called life...


AppleOrchard
i dont owe anybody an explanation this is my life i dont care watever other ppol may say. its as simple as dat.... leave me alone... im not an icon... my life isnt a fairytale im not a star... im a nobody hu wants to keep my life in private ....
Currently feeling: worried
Posted by AppleOrchard at 12:33 AM | --->HIT me!!!:

December 11th, 2007

confusing?


AppleOrchard

its been such a long time...

 

i duno wat made me decide or realize why i shud continue writing all those thoughts that is running into my head...

inis na inis ako.. thats one thing for sure...

 

anlabo...

 

am i being so blind?... 

or was it just my emotions... burst of my emotion?

 

i was thinking wat actualy happen the past few weeks? days?... nobody will understand wat am i talkin abt or wat am i tryin to say..

 

T!@$%(#$)%#$^ ksi e!!!!

 

ayoko sa lahat sinungaling!!!

INSENSITIVE!!!

 

naiinis nnmn ako!!!!

i hate myself when im like this...

i hate it so much when i feel like this..

 

sana i jst enjoy my nyt with my ofcmates and get drunk ol nyt

demet!

 

Currently listening to: wla!potah!
Currently reading: my mind
Currently feeling: inis!!!!
Posted by AppleOrchard at 04:13 AM | --->HIT me!!!:

August 11th, 2006

depression...


AppleOrchard
[the pain's unbearable. so much so that it stretches the very limits of the fabric of your sanity. questions that you know-not the answer to hounds every waking moment of your day. [i]"how could he do this to me?", "why? i thought he loved me", "if only i did that this wouldn't have happened". [/i] self-inflicted torture that you can't seem to live without [i]since[/i]. it leads to sleepless nights spent contemplating about how life changed so much in so little time. how, in a blink of an eye, you were so easily [i]replaced[/i] for someone he hardly even knew. an old and worn gasket that needed replacing, that's what you are. tears would trickle gently down your cheeks but you've already spent the last hour pathetically sobbing and weeping, ruining your favourite shirt in the process. your only companion is your best friend. on any day she would be out of the house barking at strangers and making the entire backyard his "territory", but not today, not when she could help the hand that fed her all these years. somehow, she knows that you are suffering and wouldn't leave your side. she, who can't even talk, seems to comfort you more than most people could. with her silence she tells you that the pain would pass, that everything would be okay. you're hurting inside in more ways that one. you haven't eaten in days. what started out as a slight discomfort in your stomach has slowly mutated into this terrible, ever-burning torment that's gnawing at your insides. you ignore what your body tells you as you. havent had enough sleep in a week and more. try to drown your sorrows thinking that the vices would help as you try to make sense of things. [i]"the pain could be replaced by another, perhaps this one would be easier to deal with"[/i], you repeat this to yourself over and over. it goes well with the million "what-if's" swimming in your head. ur heart starting to ache its difficult to breath like there is something that blocking it. but it reminds you that you're still alive....all u can feel about is pain... only but pain..
 
 

too painful that most people experience the pain of being left alone.
Currently feeling: depressed
Posted by AppleOrchard at 01:17 AM | 1 OuuuuccchhHHH!:
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